Winter Rants & Ideas

Questions for Cold Weather Mamas

It’s day 6 of no school and snow in Brentwood, Tennessee and as the joy of the white, glittering powder has faded and wet, filthy laundry has taken over my home, I have SOOO many questions for my cold weather mom friends:

How long does it take for you to leave the house?

How much additional laundry to you have?

How are you NOT the size of a house from eating warm cozy foods?

How often do you mop your floors. Like hourly or three times a day?

How many solo mittens do you have?

How are you still sane?

At what point in the day do you start drinking?

Is it socially acceptable to pop your child for telling you they have to pee only 5 minutes after going outside? I’m just kidding I’d never hit my child, asking for a friend.

Do you ever eat a salad or a smoothie or a cold pressed juice?

At what point in the day do you start drinking? (Yes I know this is the 2nd time I’m asking)

Is there any point in shaving your legs? I mean the fur seems like an extra protective layer so less laundry right?

Do you buy lotion by the gallon or there a bigger size I can purchase at Costco?

Besides sliming the face of my kid who has sensitive skin with Aquafor like a boxing champ, is there anything else you can do to prevent wind burn? Is that even what it’s called? The red, chaffed skin on their cheeks?

Do you ever go out for a girls night? I mean it’s so cold but I really want to escape my family, but it’s so cold!!

Is there anything better than a floor vent? Never mind, I’m standing on mine and the answer is no. No, there is nothing better than standing on pure heated air.

Is there any point in applying make-up? I feel like the make-up is literally running away from my face as soon as the cold air hits my eyelashes.

At what point in the day do you start drinking?

Can you even wear big earrings in the winter or will they adhere to the tears on your cold, cold face?

Cold weather mamas, I salute you.

You are an amazing species!

Now please melt snow, melt!!! I miss my flip flops!

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