Winter Rants & Ideas

Move the Damn Elf Day 20/21

Day 20 started out great! We got a few things done around the house, went bowling with some good buddies and ate a fabulous Tex-Mex lunch. We grabbed groceries and headed home. Then Pierson winced said, “I think I ate too much queso. My stomach really hurts.” My stomach began to bubble as well and I proposed smoothies and popcorn for dinner to help off-set our lunch.

Before a sip of smoothie hit P’s mouth, he ran to the bathroom and started throwing up. About two hours later, I joined him in the fun and we both spent the next 12 hours experiencing the worst stomach virus known to man. I’m calling this virus the Diablo bug because I’m pretty sure Satan himself was inside of me. It was horrifying and wretched and left poor Pierson looking like a homeless meerkat. If there is anything worse than an aggressive stomach it’s an aggressive stomach bug preceded by tacos and salsa.

Just went I crawled back in bed after vomit #16, I heard Mia yell. As a mom you know your kids screams and this wasn’t a “hey mom I’m awake” yell, this was a panicked yell. I said a prayer and rushed to her room. As I opened the door, the smell of vomit was apparent and her hair and pillows and lovies were all a disgusting disgrace to cuteness.

So we spent the next 12 hours as one hot mess of a partial-family unit and somehow survived to see the next day. Why is it again that my kids only get sick when Sarath travels?!?! Anyway, when I woke the next morning I of course thought, “Oh the damn elves!” So I threw them in the dollhouse and created their own sick day. I grabbed my twin, Barbie, because I’m totally a 5’9″ fox weighing 110 pounds with an 18″ waist, and threw her in to get some credit for my hard work as mom.

When the kids found the elves, they were seriously upset that they were sick. So they got the elves Gatorade, crackers, pretzels and tissues. It was seriously quite precious to see them fussing over their buddies from the North Pole.

And that my friends is the story of Day 20 of Move the Damn Elf. If there were a sick-day Mom Barbie, I think she would look something like this, but without the smile and a little more weight on her thighs!

4 more nights people.

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